How are you supposed to get the respect you want if you're a pushover? Rolling over and playing dead won't solve anything. Don't forget people usually project themselves onto the people around them. Whatever he is complaining about with you, is probably a fault of his. If he has been abusive in any way, he NEEDS to understand this. You two may not be a great pair but just giving up will only make the cycle repeat itself with your next partners.
You can't change him, you can only change yourself. Do things for yourself, be more independent. Buy yourself something nice, hire a personal trainer. Be your own woman, one who doesn't take his shit and will NOT put up with any kind of abuse, not for a second. He will have no choice but to respect and admire you. Don't do it for him, do it for yourself. If after some time of this things don't improve, then you can walk away from the marriage knowing there was nothing more you could do. Also you'll be walking away as a more attractive, more interesting you.